Saturday, 13 September 2014

A normal seeming with a different meaning

Happy Sept would have been my 6th wedding anniversary. Yep. Just six. Together for a total of 12. Today was the day I said I do. And I didn't. Today is going to be a day I feel I let everyone down. My parents paid for my wedding.......that was a waste. People came celebrate the day. That's gone. Today is the day I got up early with my two best friends and my cousin and got ready for the day. Hair,  make up the whole bit. Put on my dress.  I loved my dress. Dominic put on his little suit...omg was he cute.  Then the limo came...yes my Dad got me a limo. We headed down and I got married to who I thought (even tho he proposed 3 times prior and I said no) I would spend the rest of my life with. You can change your last name.....but you can't change the person who had it first.  Then pictures. Oh man. We had great pictures. I loved them. The the supper.  Dancing with my Dad. I'm a Daddy's girl. I love him more than life. I loved our dance. I was a special moment. Dancing with my friends and family.  I love to dance so I hold those dances close. The gift opening the next day. Jesus. I am a horrible person. Making people spend all that money and now for what? God I am bad person.

Why couldn't I make it work? Why didn't I just become the person he wanted me to be?

I am sorry for letting everyone down.


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